When 64-year-old Elizabeth came for Af-x, the first thing she said was, "I've been in therapy for most of my life and I have honed my skill at lying to the therapist, lying to myself and effectively hiding behind my mask." Elizabeth called this her 'mask.' In Af-x, we know this as being our AVATAR.
|
You may - or may not - be challenged by the contents of this page. After all, we all know when we're telling the truth, don't we? We all know when something is as best we can remember it, don't we? We all know if what we are telling someone else is authentic, or slightly flavored to suit the occasion of the telling. Don't we?
Well ... Not necessarily so! As you wend your way through these pages, you'll see that Af-x has its feet firmly planted in affective neuroscience and the study of the fact that our emotional 'substance' - the sense of who we are - has been established at a VERY early stage in our life: in fact, well before we have learned to use words and verbalize any self-knowledge. We also discuss the fact that within every human being there is a strong and simplistic unconscious urge to avoid any change to our sub-personality state of being. In affectology, these are called "avoidance parts drivers" and "sabotage parts drivers". You can read more on parts drivers in White's Beat Depression the Drug Free Way. What results from the interaction between the subconscious avoidance drive and the inability to verbalize emotional source (initiating) material is a highly successful MASK. And, we reiterate here that this phenomenon exists as a truly unconscious dynamic. Not only do we not try to build it, we are largely unaware that we have built it as an inauthentic representation of ourselves within a therapeutic context. |
“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”
……Francois de La Rochefoucauld |
_In Hindu philosophy, an avatar
most commonly refers to the incarnation (bodily manifestation) of a higher
divine being (Deva), or the Supreme Being (God) onto planet Earth. That's its original meaning.
Much more usefully (for us) though, in modern parlance, the world of cyberspace has given the word AVATAR a different meaning, and one that suits our purposes perfectly. An avatar is a representation in another plane – a parallel universe or reality – of the real thing – the authentic person. Look at that modern practice of entering the realm of online cyber-reality gaming in which you are required to develop an avatar, a digital ghost self that is not “you” but is controlled by a “you” and operated somewhat like a puppet - a puppet that is evident to the observer, but which can not be penetrated by the observer in order to reach a direct communication with the real “you.” The AVATAR is the player's visual on-screen in-game false persona that is not the real player's authentic person. In this case (in cyberspace gaming), the observer can never bypass the avatar to get to the authentic operator. And the authentic operator (in our metaphor, your affect unconscious) constantly re-invents the avatar as an ego-driven false mask to the world – and yes, even to therapists, and perhaps ESPECIALLY to therapists – that serves to match its perceived self with what seems to be required. In other words, the story is that every person is perennially shifting and re-shaping the 'avatar self' in an effort to deny authenticity to the outside world, and most often, even themselves. By default of the findings in affect-neurological research, we have no choice but to be 'respectfully suspicious' that in all of us the affect unconscious self ( - the real you) and the ego-centric cognitive conscious self ( - your avatar) exist in disparate (entirely separate) states and planes within each individual person. So, by further default, we must assign one to be the authentic self, the other, the inauthentic self. This is particularly true when it comes to the therapeutic exchange. |
What does this mean for psychotherapy and Af-x Therapy?
The simple story is that it is understood by neuroscience that people wear an inauthentic aspect (representation) of what is true when going into therapy. This is almost always subconscious and not intentional. The result may be self-deceit, but is almost certainly an unconscious attempt - almost always successful - to deceive the therapist.
It goes a long way to explain why in Af-x it is important for there to be an absence of verbalization that may simply be expressions of and from the AVATAR. Twenty years of research, trials and clinical improvement has resulted in Af-x having found 'the way around' the avatar, and bringing resolution to the subconscious affect self. |
|
_- AND NOW -
You can proceed to the next sub-page in the "Therapy" section
and read about how Af-x sessions are structured by clicking here.
You can proceed to the next sub-page in the "Therapy" section
and read about how Af-x sessions are structured by clicking here.
_"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no-one thinks of changing himself"
Leo Tolstoy
Leo Tolstoy